I don't know why I'm having such a hard time keeping up with this whole blog thing. I had a Xanga a while back, and I would post about 5 times a week for a whole year. Then again, I wasn't as happy back then. I guess it's safe to assume that my lack of posts is a good thing...a sign that I am much happier now. I have less to complain about, that's for sure. But not completely without things to complain about...
I recently had a situation with a coworker that should not have happened. We were having a "conversation" and she made a racist statement that sent me on one of my mini crusades. I use the word conversation very loosely...it was more like her talking at me in a very condescending way, but I digress. I had heard stories of her using the word nigger 20 times in a 5 minute conversation; but never having heard her say it in my presence, I had no right to take any action. So she's talking to me (and I won't even go into what the conversation was about because that will just piss me off even more) and she leans in to whisper to me, "...she's a BLACK lady. You know how THEY are".
That made my fists clench and my heart beat in my ears. Everything after that sounded like, "blah, blah, blah. Yakkity schmakkity do."
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not one to just sit on my ass and not say/do anything about this. And being the bitch that I am, I said:
"No, I don't know how THEY are. I respect your right to your opinion and understand the role of stereotypes in this world…especially, in this workplace. You can be racist, sexist, ageist, or homophobic, I really don’t care. However, I would appreciate if you kept that to yourself and try not to say things like “you know how THEY are” in my presence. For your information, the word nigger describes someone who is lazy, stupid, and just plain disgusting and not a skin color. It's a personality, a state of mind...so you're a white nigger."
I just had to do it. Everyone at work is appalled by her racist attitude, but no one ever says anything to her. I think that's what pissed me off the most. Everyone comes running to me telling me how she just said nigger 10 times, or how she always starts a story by saying, "this black guy, that black girl, that Asian man etc." No one is ever just a man, guy, girl, woman...she always has to mention race. I figured since everyone is just silently accepting how disgusting she is, I should be the one to finally challenge her. She hated it. She was pissed at me for days. She walked around the office telling everyone how mad she was at me. When everyone asked what I did wrong she simply said she didn't want to talk about it. Of course she didn't want to...she was in the wrong. Imagine how embarrassed you would be if you told someone, "I'm mad at Kim because I said something racist to her and she told me about myself."
Again, if you know me you would know that this lit another fire under me. Who the hell was she to get mad at me? She was mad at me for challenging her nasty attitude? She was mad at me for being disgusted by her? She was mad at me for exposing her for the bigot that she really is? Fuck that! At first, I was just going to leave it alone after telling her what I thought. I thought that by telling her how I felt she might finally get the point. I was wrong. Instead, she thought I was the bad guy because I didn't just ignore her remark. So one day I marched into my supervisor's office and told her what had happened. I told her that I didn't think it was right that I should have to come to work and feel uncomfortable...that everyone should think I'm the bad guy for making this woman upset. She upset me, and that's what started the whole thing. My anger was justified, and hers was not. I also should not have to feel uncomfortable thinking that behind my back she is calling me a chink, jap, gook, nigger, dog eater, dirty rice picker etc. to my coworkers. I've been called all those things and worse. Justin and I have been given dirty looks and ignored because he is white and I am not. I should not have to experience all that at work...the place where I spend 50% of my time.
Luckily for me, my boss loves me. Also, my boss is Jewish and knows what it's like to face that kind of bigotry. Needless to say, this coworker is being forced to attend sensitivity training and counseling with the Employee Assistance Program for the next 6 months...again. She just finished a round of counseling for something she said the another coworker. Yeah, she's an all star.
The funny thing is that as disgusted as I am with racist comments, I'm even more pissed off that she was stupid enough to say these things at work. I know everyone has some kind of prejudice. Everyone believes one stereotype or another. To broadcast them at your place of work and then get mad when someone takes offense to it is just plain stupid. I guess she thought it was OK to say these things to me because I'm not black. Then again, she doesn't know me very well. She doesn't know that I'll snap on anyone at anytime if it means defending something I feel very strongly about. Believe me, that gets me into a lot of trouble. That's a different blog all together.
I think my point in posting this is to get you to realize that it's not enough to just be disgusted or offended by people like that. Your feelings will only mean something if you make then known. Not just known to other people, but known to the person who has offended you. This woman had gone to long calling people niggers, and no one said I thing to her. Silence is consent; so by not challenging her, everyone was giving her the impression that it was alright to say such things. Speak out for yourself AND for those who can not speak out for themselves. Don't just think what is right, do what is right.
One more thing:
I think David Blaine is a moron.
